Excuses for terrible play, a misclick, or just being a noob. We’ve all heard them or used them during a PvP game session. A trend mostly used in order to avoid admitting to yourself that you’re really just not that good.
I’ve gone ahead and compiled a short list of what I deem are the most overused excuses out there by gamers when attempting to avoid ridicule. So, without further ado I give you:
“Laaaaag!” (Bad connection)
First one on our list quite possibly takes the cake for the most used excuse. This excuse gets used on so many occasions that some of them have to be true, right? I’m guilty of it myself. Playing from the SEA region on NA servers does give a bit of leeway in certain situations but when the excuse becomes an endless personal mantra, we all know that you’re full of sh*t. If your reaction time is going to be 2-3 seconds slower than what the screen indicates on top of your already poor skills, you should probably just stick to offline games.
“It’s just a game. I don’t take it seriously.”
Taking a game serious or not doesn’t give you an excuse to be terrible. If anything, others may take it seriously and all you’re doing is ruining their experience. Don’t be a douchebag! Get gud, or stick to the AI matchups. Work on your skills, figure out the basic mechanics, then come back when you’re ready to empathize with your teammates.
“It’s YOUR fault!”
Go f*ck yourself! I don’t remember being responsible for you jumping into a 1v5 situation with no mana and the nearest ally is two lanes over. Suck it up, Buttercup. You’re just terrible and you got no one to blame but yourself. The “Think, before you DO” approach may be the speed you’re looking for.
You can only be responsible for your own failings as you’re the one behind the monitor clicking the keys and fidgeting with the mouse. Don’t assume everyone in game is on the same page as you, especially for those not willing to communicate. On top of that, don’t assume everyone will follow what you say. Just assume the worst, but hope for the best while working on reaching your skill ceiling.
“I’m new to the game.”
This is probably the only one on the list that can be considered a legitimate excuse. At least to a point, seeing as you’ll have to take it at their word. Though, if you’re new to the game and you can’t listen to helpful instructions, you’re terrible and should perform seppuku. Seriously though, if you can’t bother to take helpful advice, you’re a new cancerous growth and are part of the problem. If someone is willing to lend a few helpful words (not to be confused with harsh criticism) you should be willing to listen.
“I’m on tilt.”
Then why the hell are you still playing? Take a breather, eat something, rub one out. Whatever gets your mind off being terrible for a little while. It’s not going to get any better slamming your face into the keyboard match after match expecting a different outcome. Pull it together and prepare for the next onslaught of matches you’re probably going to lose. Being on tilt does not give you the go-ahead to be an asshat and drag everyone down with you.
“This game sucks. I’m just here for the LOLs.”
Similar to the above. Although, we know damn well that you’re just trying to play it off as if you’re not actually bad. This is like the little boy who cried laaaaag! You’re probably full of sh*t and need to learn how to play. You’re below average intelligence is most likely the cause of your below average gameplay mechanics. Don’t worry, Zoolander made a school for you. The only lols I can see is the idiot planted between chair and keyboard. Stop ruining everyone else’s experience and grow the hell up.
“Trying out something new.”
This is around the same thing as being a completely new player, with a few exceptions. Firstly, we should not be seeing these words scroll across our chat box while in a ranked match. If this is you, I hate you with every fabric of my being. Secondly, you should let people know ahead of time that way they can make up for your terrible lack of skills. Honestly, just try new sh*t out against a few bots and then bring it to the real game. You’ll save a bit more face that way and receive less “F*ck you, noob!” and “You’re garbage. Kill yourself. Uninstall.”
So there you have it. These are the most predominant excuses in game that I see used in order to justify being bad. How about you? What other excuses can we add to the list that you may have heard or used? Let me know in the comments below.